Memory

I remembered to post today.

But I think I remember too much sometimes. That is to say, I spend too much time remembering. When I think of something - like a certain restaurant, for example - I will walk around the house, talking to myself, recalling the times I ate there and who with. And boy does sap time away from me.

There was actually an episode of Frasier on this morning (which I hadn't seen and I couldn't believe it because if I had to guess I'd say there's less than 10 episodes I haven't seen and less than 2/3 I haven't seen twice.) in which he recalls the history of a cheese container. It was a good episode and exactly the sort of thing I do.

I'm sure you do it too, right? I'm sure I'll do it again before the night is over. Probably some subject I've already ruminated over countless times.

wow

i completely forgot to blog yesterday

i was thinking about continuing this blog but if i forget it as part of a project how will i ever remember otherwise?!

but really, that has nothing to do with blogging. i've found that i kind of like blogging. it's an outlet for the more serious side of myself and in the future if i decide to blog anymore, it won't be to keep a schedule but because i have something to say. no more worrying about making a deadline, i will start when i have a though and finish when the thought is complete.

pretty easy.

Burger King

yes, the second post involving Burger King.

I mentioned Monday that I thought it was a good place to take a date. Even a first date. I wasn't specifically criticized for this (or was I?) but I felt like offering up some reasons and justifications.

I'm not really sure how the decision to end up at Burger King arises, actually. Food is suggested and suddenly I'm at Burger King. As I also mentioned, I like to start these dates in the early afternoon. I think this contributes to the choice. The afternoon seems to lend itself to a much more casual experience. Doesn't it?

But let's say it doesn't, let's say a nicer place would still be preferable at 1pm, why the nicer place? To impress? Is it just a nice gesture? I don't particularly want to impress someone by taking them to a place I never go. As for a nice gesture, I don't know if that's well founded, so I'm reluctant to refute it. Not to say that it isn't a nice gesture, but not doing it isn't not nice. Unless someone just doesn't like eating that sort of food.


But theory aside, the fact is that it simply works. That is to say, it hasn't been detrimental. I've taken numerous girls to Burger King (or taco bell) and it's never worked against me. In fact, I can only remember once when I took a girl to a nice restaurant and she and I never had a second date.

Long ago I was hassled by some friends because I didn't adhere to their rule about how long you should wait to call a girl after getting her number. I call whenever the fuck I feel like it. Which is really just the next day, but this goes against the two-day rule which is apparently universal. At the time, I'd never known any of these guys to have been out on a date while I knew them. When talking to another friend whom I had known to go out on dates, he agreed with me.

I'm not saying that a person should call as soon as possible, my point is this: we did what came naturally to us and it worked out. And probably because if the other person is actually interested in you at all it's not going to matter much how many "rules" you follow or break. They are largely arbitrary.

The choice of restaurant in my opinion is just as arbitrary as choice of activity. If I invite someone to the zoo it's not because I think it's a great date place, it's just something that adds interest. If you can add interest all on your own then skip the zoo. Unless, of course, you just really enjoy animals.

Blah

how many times can i go on about time? it's boring! and yet i keep doing this to myself, leaving myself not enough time to write anything meaningful. but that will change tomorrow! yes, it will!

who likes to yell? do you ever yell just to remember what it's like? Maybe right before you get in the shower you let out a few yelps into the mirror. Maybe you clap your hands at the same time.

Maybe not.

Do you hit and kick things? I don't. Which makes me think that yelling for no reason might not be healthy either. I'll tell you this though, I haven't wanted to actually yell or hit or kick or forcefully shove or scowl at anything in quite a while.

I think I'm well adjusted.

YELL!

Blog Time

yes, once again i am failing miserably but i will be getting this up on time.

strong start, weak finish. a phrase often used around friends, usually in some sort of joking context. but no joking here. just plain ol' weak finish. and by that i mean, i'm wearing down.

i will get the right number of videos out, i will post an entry here every day, and maybe after this is over.

and maybe once august is over i will also post videos more frequently. or, at least, work on other things with the same amount of dedication. and even though i just admitted that i'm getting weak, it doesn't mean i'm still fulfilling the goal, so i feel like i can accomplish anything else as well. just not with clockwork precision.

drink to it

ahhh, jeah!

never got around to that politics thing. probably won't. don't care anymore.

lately there's some been discussion about nerdfighters and their secrets.

i was talking to a friend about that on friday, i believe. and i thought i'd make my opinions public. on this blog.

but then i thought i'd make a video.

but i might wait till next month. haven't gotten serious so far and i don't think i will. we will see if the enthusiasm lasts.

you know me, i don't particularly like discussing ideas in blog or video form. get at me and we'll talk about it one on one. or something. i like fluid conversation.

mmmmm, fluid

Redemption (sort of)

Friday's video was so late that by the time it was uploaded I don't think it was Friday anywhere in the world. And I'm pretty sure I had several hour window.

I didn't think I'd get one up on time today actually. I just had a complete lack of ideas. Scraped something together in the end though.

Which means with the publication of this blog post I'll be back on track. With the exception of the drawing every day. I may wait until Monday.

Don't ask why. Just accept it.

Time and Burgers

I can at least get my blog up on time.

I went out to buy paper and markers today. Just two. On the way home I stopped by Burger King. Went through the drive thru. Ordered a whopper meal. Paid.

At the window I was informed they gave my food to the car in front of me. They asked me to pull forward so they could make new food and bring it out to me. They did not bring it out to me. I went inside to get it.

They gave me a large fry instead of a medium. As an apology, I guess. I wasn't that perturbed by it. When I got back in my car it wouldn't start. And then I was perturbed. And not as hungry. Ate half the burger and a few fries. Called friend.

Friend arrived. It poured rain. When it let up a little we walked over to his car. I hid my paper and markers under a coat as we walked. To hide them from rain. We drove to my house for jumper cables and tow truck numbers just in case. Neither were needed. The car started when we got back. Once we jiggled one of the battery cables around. I swear I tried that several times to begin with.

At home I found that my markers were missing. I went back to Burger King to look for them. Apparently they'd slipped out of my bag while changing cars. They were smashed.

Politics

i don't normally make political comments. but i was going to tonight. but not sure how long it would take and i have a deadline to meet. so it may be another topic that i save.

in the meantime, uh. . .i like coke as well as dr pepper. sometimes i go to the gas station for a fountain drink but i don't trust any of the choices except coke. i don't trust 'em!

i'll happy when i find some time to go to the park. or go to the grocery store or something because i've been eating quick stuff which translates to less than healthy stuff.

and i'm feeling blobby.

Cuttin' Corners

oh, i'm cuttin' them all right. i don't want to keep it for the rest of this month though. we'll see. everything just comes at once all of a sudden, while i've given myself so much today. i've already gone over it. anyways, just keeping at what i can. yeah, man

Personality

That slowed-down Justin Bieber song was mentioned several times today in various locations. I listened to it. Is it really that interesting? How many other songs could be slowed and enjoyed? Would people be interested in the song if it was just a song. Maybe. Not nearly as many. Would it be different if it weren't a Justin Bieber song? Of course. I get the reasons that people think it's something interesting. It's not the song itself.

I listened to the song at normal speed for reference. And you know what? I thought it was kind of good. I'd never listened to the kid before. That's right, never. Not even by accident.

Remember when Whoopi Goldberg had her own talk show? Way back in the early 90s. maybe mid-90s. I'm not sure, but before the show debuted someone asked her how her show would be different from other late night talk shows or how she planned to compete with them or something like that. She said that the popular hosts made it too much about themselves. If you have an interesting guest you should just let that guest talk. Don't insert yourself so much into the interview. I'm paraphrasing (possibly remembering entirely incorrectly). A lot of other people said similar things. People whose talk shows didn't last long.

They're right to a certain extent about the interesting guests but the host better be damn interesting as well. They're the only real constant. And if a guest isn't interesting and the host isn't interesting, well, now you're in deep shit.

Except for the first and last episode, I didn't watch Conan's run on the Tonight Show. I didn't watch a lot of his last few years on Late Night. But I was a fan for many years prior. For maybe the first 6 years of his career I was a regular watcher. After that it became more sporadic but I would still watch regularly in long stretches.

But I didn't always stick around if he had guests I didn't care about.

Bread

getting sleepy earlier and earlier.

and i need bread

because i'm kind of hungry and there's some food but sandwiches are so easy to make but i don't have bread. the last time i went to the store they were waxing the bread aisle. where i get my bread.

if you don't already know, about the only time i go to the store is 2 am or so. that's when they wax. i mean, not always the bread aisle but i take that chance. and so here i am with no bread.

for a whole month i went to the store in the afternoon because my car was broken down. follow me? and i never had bread problems.

i guess there is something to be said for sunshine.

The Old Bald Cheater

that's a Ben Johnson quote? he referred to time as the old bald cheater? I guess. I know it from Hearts in Atlantis which is possibly my favorite Stephen King book and one of my favorite books in general. I recommend that book all the time.

Perhaps you're familiar with the film version. I think I thought it was all right. Like most adaptations it lacks a lot, but I don't really care to quibble about those things, my point is that a good a portion of that novel is about college kids playing cards. It's the part of the novel that's actually called Hearts in Atlantis.

I'd love to see it made into a movie. But what would they call it? Hearts in Atlantis is what I'd call it.

Anyways, time, man. I've suddenly come into some paying work. And it should be my focus. Last year I was doing the Drawing Every Day project like I'm doing now and I planned to do it for like 3 months or something. I got a paying gig after the first month and promptly dropped the project.

Discontinuing my projects now hasn't even crossed my mind this time. Not only are other people involved but I quit a project earlier this year for no good reason. Remember the collaborative drawing project? Just up and stopped.

I'd rather not quit anything I'm doing right now, which just means I'll just have to work harder and manage my time really well. But also I might have to be a little less ambitious at times. I almost said my videos would be lower in quality, but not really. They'll still be at the same quality of a certain style. Does that make sense? Makes sense to me.

In any case, like KRS-One said, "I'm not the run of mill, cause for the mill I don't run."

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Once upon a time some friends and I each made a list of our top 50 movies. We agreed to watch everyone else's top five if we hadn't seen them. I was the only one to uphold the agreement which afforded me the opportunity to view Van Wilder.

After that shitpile, I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Knowing the premise, I was sort of aware of what was going on at the beginning and wondered if I would enjoy a movie in which I knew the ending. Of course, that was a bit premature as the ending simply doesn't end at the beginning. And if it did, it resonates completely different by then anyway. Eh. . .

I suppose I don't have much to actually say about the movie. Enjoyed it. Of the movies penned by Charlie Kaufman it's certainly the most visually striking. I probably relate to Joel more than I'd like to. But the same goes probably goes for the main characters in Being John Malkovich and Synecdoche, New York.

And I'd have to watch Sunshine and Malkovich again to be sure, but I think Sunshine is the lesser film visuals aside.

I'll tell you this though, didn't like Adaptation. So take that!

Scream

Remember that movie? Do people still talk about it anytime other than when mentioning it as a milestone in horror-movie history?

I enjoyed it at the time. But I may have just been seduced by the hype.

Thing that always bothered me about that series of movies was that the second movie was completely irrelevant. It would have made so much more sense if the third movie had come out second.

I mean, Sidney (is that right?) was seeking help in the third one. The movie they were making in the movie was based on the first scream even though I think it was the sequel to Stab, the movie from the second scream. If the movie in the third movie was based on the first movie then what the hell was the first movie in the second movie based on?!

I need answers!

You know what movie I did like? The Faculty. It was pretty ridiculous but had a great feel. Thanks, Scream, for making The Faculty possible.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights

I haven't seen that movie in quite some time. I went to the theater when it came out. However many years ago that was. Had to be when I was preteen. i looked it up. '93. I guess I was a teen.

I didn't like it then. Probably wouldn't like it now. I might have something against Mel Brooks.

I liked Spaceballs when it came out but watched it recently and thought it was pretty weak. Just one set up joke after another. Kind of like the Scary/Date/Epic movies of their time. That's what it seems like to me and yet they get respect.

I might have to dig deeper to figure out why that is. Better talent?

Recently watched Young Frankenstein for the first time and I wasn't impressed but Gene Wilder is great. So maybe that's it.

If they'd put Gene Wilder in more of those "Movie" movies I bet they'd be classics now.

But I bet it's more likely they would have destroyed the reputation of Gene Wilder.

Ahhh, evening time.

This blog has become relaxing. After drawing all day it's nice to come here and not draw. Just let the words out. The videos have become a bit stressful but it's gratifying to upload them and I'm a third of the way through the month. So I just have to do what I've already done two more times.

Doing all of these videos every day has made the drawing every day seem a bit redundant and I sometimes forget about it and then think, oh damn, still more work! But it's still fun to get other people involved. And there's always the blog to escape to.

I toyed with the idea of tweeting at least 31 times a day. Glad I didn't. not that it'd be that much harder, but still, one less thing to worry about and how annoying would that have been? All those tweets!

Close calls!

spent most of the day working on something for a video and then realized that I'd never finish it in time. That led to putting something together in two hours. From start to finish. I don't think it was a good product. Doesn't always bother me so much, sometimes the things I think are horrible end up being the stuff everyone likes. I've mentioned that before. But with a guest i'd prefer to put my best work in. May have mentioned that as well.

you know how i know i'm not a popular youtuber? no one has ever wished me a happy birthday.yeah, i'm bitter about it. but to be fair, probably no one knows when it is

More Vlog Crap

I watched a video yesterday after my last post. Reminded me that you can vlog and make it a sort of creative, arty sort of thing. But instead of appreciating it, i kind of see a fake person. There's an insincerity to it that once again turns me off.

I'd like to now turn my attention to movies as I pondered doing once upon a time. Unfortunately, I haven't seen anything lately. Nor is there a movie on my mind. Had a brief discussion about Inception in the comments of a video last night but I'm a bit tired of Inception talk to bring it up without provocation. I will say this much: I liked and I didn't like it.

In other news, I cut my thumb with the tape dispenser.

Why I don't do the vlogging thing

Really, a more accurate title would be why I have vlogged at all. Because I have. And I kind of am doing that this week. But it's certainly not why I joined youtube and I'm not interested in vlogs in general.

Years ago I saw this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xn5bovUjyQ

It's Spaghetti Town by thereceptionist. I wasn't able to post it here but you should watch it if you haven't seen it.

I was inspired by that and videos like the Tales of Mere Existence series.



My goal was always to make illustrated stories for youtube.

I strayed away from that focus rather quickly.

If you ever look at the channels I'm subscribed to, there's very few large youtubers. Almost none. I'm sure they're nice, great people; I simply don't care what they do or say. To be honest, I haven't given some of them a chance and I realize in some cases that there's more than just talking to the camera going on but my interest also decreases as the inaccessibility of the personality rises.

What you will notice in subscriptions is a lot of smaller channels. And a lot of these people are people that I've met in the comments section of my own videos. Sounds a little self-absorbed, but if I find I'm already having something of a conversation I'm much more interested in what else this person may say or do. And sometimes by association I find other channels I like.

And that doesn't change the fact that I'm still drawn to creative stuff.

But I was going to talk about why I have vlogged at all.

Despite everything I've said, I think the greatest thing about youtube is the ability for people to interact. And vlogging, as opposed to posting artistic endeavors as an anonymous being just would be as enriching. I think it would distance me from the audience and from the people whose content I enjoy watching and the friendships that result.

I don't think I'm good at it though. I don't think I'll ever be good at it. Because it's not something I want to do enough to work at it. So there's something of a paradox there. It's something I want to do to connect to people but it's not the sort of content I want so my heart is only half in it. Which I'm sure also explains why I kind of know many youtubers but am not close to a single one.

The other part of not being good is the conversational factor. I've never been very vocal about my opinions. I typically like to sit back and absorb conversation unless I'm specifically asked. This leads to a lot of talking about me. Just look at this blog, for example. This blog and videos are very one way. I think it would be much better if it were fluid, if someone were countering my arguments, posing questions, it would become much more well-rounded.

Now, if I were to make a video, the conversation could spill into the comments, into other videos and the comments of other videos and maybe into personal, one-on-one conversations, but that video with my still-evolving idea is still out there. If no one bothers to look any further than that video represents me even if it is no longer accurate.

I'm not totally comfortable with that.

I lied

No vlogging post today. Yesterday I thought I was about 70% done with today's video. Guess I was wrong. Guess it was a good thing that I did what I did yesterday. I was expecting a quick video and boy was I wrong. Was hoping to catch up today! I mean, I'm all caught up, but it's getting scary.

At least there's no pressure with this blog. No one's reading, right?

Nevertheless I'd like to spice it up. Maybe if I get into the habit of doing it this month I'll keep doing it and it will get better. That could happen, right?

Perhaps I'll discuss a movie ever day from now on. I like movies, never have a reason to talk about them; now I have a reason.

Anyways, the thing I was going to say about vlogging might be long. This post will not. I'll get to these important subjects one day.

The day that I'm dying.

Yeah, man!

Travis!

Feel like I got a true star in my video. I mean, everyone else had a certain level of popularity (which isn't why I asked any of these people) but Travis was in Dinocroc vs Supergator! I'll brag about that.

I wish I would have set up some parameters for these blogs though. That paragraph above could have been the whole entry, right? So what's stopping me from calling it a night?

I thought about using the number 31 here, as the number of lines that would be my minimum but that would be far too many. 31 words? Seems like too few.

The other problem I'm having here is the same problem I have when I think about vlogging. I think I shall make that tomorrow's post.

Fo sho

The Future

Check that August 3rd post. See the part about my mom? Today she says, "Who's the girl that wants to make you a sandwich? You need a lovelife." I don't know how I could have been more accurate.

I spent a lot of time making today's video. I fell behind a bit. Usually I've got most of tomorrow's video done today. At least half. Not today. about 12 straight hours of work. Ugh. But I put a lot of work into the guest parts because I appreciate the guests, I want to make sure I'm giving them the best work I can.

I ended up drawing my part in less than hour. Just took a pen to those notecards and didn't look back.

The Tyranny

Another day another video completed! They're getting later and later! I shall catch up this weekend. I believe Sunday will be "Lazy Day". I'm not sure what that means, but I shall do as little work on that video as possible. It will still count, right?

Another guest has graced us today. RoxinPunch, as I will call her, was the first person I asked to participate. Back when I wasn't sure if my idea wasn't any good she just seemed crazy enough to go for it anyway.

But man, I'm starting to struggle for ideas. I've got this week covered and most of next week. I'm sure something will come in the meantime. I have planned far ahead. So far ahead that it goes into next month. Not really. It ends on the 31st. Believe that. I'm already sleeping very little and eating very little and avoiding my friends and family. And I like it!

The friends and family part isn't really true. Because I have no friends or family.

They're all in prison.

Ducks

So let me start out by giving some praise to Jessica, my video guest today. I'm assuming anyone reading this has or will see the video. I'm probably going to be a lazy blogger with no links and no profile picture. I'll do the picture, at least. One day.

Anyways, Jessica! It's a good thing she has a nice face because I had to stare at it a lot to draw pictures. I kind of wish she hadn't offered to make me a sandwich though because it's going to be hell convincing my mom that she is not my girlfriend.

I feel as though I should go ahead and thank my guests in the video but I have a vision dammit! And the vision doesn't lend itself to that stuff. Yeah, vision.

My vision often fails me. Sometimes when I think I've created something terrible it becomes a sensation.

Just yesterday I drew this



Not a sensation. But something that people liked that I thought they would hate. But that's the lesson learned from that happening over and over again: people have no taste. I kid. The lesson is to finish what you start. I'm just joking about that, as well. I hate lessons and I never learn them.

Sandwiches

Dr. Noise! I was pretty pleased that Bill was willing to lend his talents to my video today. It was when he mentioned his Vlaugust project that I was inspired to do mine, so he seemed like the natural choice to open up my month of videos.

I'll go ahead and tell you, there's some other guests this week as well and that's been a challenge in itself. Not so much getting them, but just asking. As I've mentioned before, I'm not the most outgoing person. And in Bill's case, aside from some youtube comments and maybe a few tweets, I've never talked with the guy so I was definitely nervous.

Everyone I've asked has been really receptive though and that's very pleasing. Especially when you consider they have almost no idea what what my videos are going to be about. I told Bill today's video was going to be about sandwiches and that's it.

Often times I draw stuff for videos that end up getting discarded. Either I don't like the drawing later, or it becomes unnecessary or I change my mind about the concept of the video. I've come close to drawing whole videos that never get made.

Below is an example of changing my mind about a concept. I was initially going to make a slightly darker and stranger sandwich video. The audio would have been exactly the same but not the pictures.






In the end I decided it was better to be whimsical. I don't think the stranger video would have matched my introduction and it was certainly at odds with Bill's spot. I'm not opposed to completely contrasting moods, but everything else this weeks is lighthearted for the most part and people probably just enjoy the more lighthearted stuff.

I'm saving the weird stuff for the weekends.

So what's this all about? 31 Days of Awesome Possible Madness? What the hell is that?

One of the questions nobody at all ever asks me is, "Why do you have such a pitiful number of videos?" I've been around a long time; I should have more, right? But this isn't just about padding numbers. I don't know what it is. Just something challenging, I suppose.

And it's also challenging me in other ways which I will discuss tomorrow. I'll likely end up using this blog as a behind-the-scenes kind of thing unless something else seems particularly blogworthy that day.

Much like the video I just posted (am about to post), this is simply my blogging introduction. Getting my feet wet, if you will. Substance will come later. Trust me.