Why I don't do the vlogging thing

Really, a more accurate title would be why I have vlogged at all. Because I have. And I kind of am doing that this week. But it's certainly not why I joined youtube and I'm not interested in vlogs in general.

Years ago I saw this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xn5bovUjyQ

It's Spaghetti Town by thereceptionist. I wasn't able to post it here but you should watch it if you haven't seen it.

I was inspired by that and videos like the Tales of Mere Existence series.



My goal was always to make illustrated stories for youtube.

I strayed away from that focus rather quickly.

If you ever look at the channels I'm subscribed to, there's very few large youtubers. Almost none. I'm sure they're nice, great people; I simply don't care what they do or say. To be honest, I haven't given some of them a chance and I realize in some cases that there's more than just talking to the camera going on but my interest also decreases as the inaccessibility of the personality rises.

What you will notice in subscriptions is a lot of smaller channels. And a lot of these people are people that I've met in the comments section of my own videos. Sounds a little self-absorbed, but if I find I'm already having something of a conversation I'm much more interested in what else this person may say or do. And sometimes by association I find other channels I like.

And that doesn't change the fact that I'm still drawn to creative stuff.

But I was going to talk about why I have vlogged at all.

Despite everything I've said, I think the greatest thing about youtube is the ability for people to interact. And vlogging, as opposed to posting artistic endeavors as an anonymous being just would be as enriching. I think it would distance me from the audience and from the people whose content I enjoy watching and the friendships that result.

I don't think I'm good at it though. I don't think I'll ever be good at it. Because it's not something I want to do enough to work at it. So there's something of a paradox there. It's something I want to do to connect to people but it's not the sort of content I want so my heart is only half in it. Which I'm sure also explains why I kind of know many youtubers but am not close to a single one.

The other part of not being good is the conversational factor. I've never been very vocal about my opinions. I typically like to sit back and absorb conversation unless I'm specifically asked. This leads to a lot of talking about me. Just look at this blog, for example. This blog and videos are very one way. I think it would be much better if it were fluid, if someone were countering my arguments, posing questions, it would become much more well-rounded.

Now, if I were to make a video, the conversation could spill into the comments, into other videos and the comments of other videos and maybe into personal, one-on-one conversations, but that video with my still-evolving idea is still out there. If no one bothers to look any further than that video represents me even if it is no longer accurate.

I'm not totally comfortable with that.